Dear Santa Claus,
I have been a good boy this year. I have done all of my chores and cleaned up all of my messes. I have given my wife Jeannie a big hug every day and told her that I loved her. I have minded her too, and done everything she told me to do. I have tried very hard not to tease the grandchildren too much.
For Christmas I want a big house on a hill with a swimming pool and a tennis court. I want it made of white marble with seven bedrooms and nine bathrooms. I want a living room big enough to hold BMX races in, and a big den, trophy room, music room, and library. I want a walk-in fireplace made of rocks, 13 closets full of new clothes, and a kitchen with a French chef named Pierre. I want a guest house out back and 40 acres of manicured lawns and gardens with a maintenance staff of several dozen people. I want a six-car garage with six new cars.
I want a ranch in Nine Mile Canyon and a couple of dozen sections of mountain ground in upper Joes Valley. I want a winter home in Acapulco and a summer home in Juneau. I want a mountain cabin in Huntington Canyon and a penthouse on the New York City skyline. I want a big cabin cruiser and a houseboat waiting for me on Lake Powell, and a jet airplane all gassed up and ready to take me to Africa, Hawaii, or wherever else I decide to spend the weekend. I want a new Hummer with big tires and a snowplow.
But Ã¯Â¿Â½ I know you are real busy Santa Claus, and most of those things will be real tough to drag down the chimney of my little house here on the wasatch behind. And besides, I know that there are other kids out there, like Michael Jackson and Karl Malone, who might have more fun with those things than I could. Mom always taught me that I should share, and so, maybe you should just bring me the things I need again this year and not the things I want.
What I really need is health, faith, and a good attitude. Oh yes, and a sense of humor always helps too. I need friends and a loving family. Heaven knows that I need a tolerant and forgiving spouse.
But then, when I think about it, Santa Claus, I already have all of the things I really need. I have health, strength, and happiness. I have the love of a good woman who smiles even when she's tired, and sons who make me proud. I have the bright smiles of grandchildren who call me Bum Paw and give me hope for the future. I have an abiding faith in God that gives me strength when life isn't much fun.
So, Santa Claus, I guess I'm really doing okay here on the Wasatch behind. Please give the big houses, airplanes, and country estates to the people who really need them to be happy. I can make do with what I have. I learned a long time ago that happiness isn't having what you want. Happiness is wanting what you already have.
I do want you to stop by my house, Santa, even if I don't need any presents. I look forward to the holiday spirit you always bring and the magic spell you cast over the little ones.
I'm sorry about leaving you that one small slice of cold pepperoni pizza last year. That's all that was left. And, the big cup of church approved Postum was hot when I set it out, honest. Stop by and I'll leave a McDonald's gift certificate this year.
Thank you, Santa Claus, and happy trails.
From your friend, Tom