I was sitting at my desk writing another big check for the National Rifle Association's Political Action Committee when the doorbell began playing the national anthem. I immediately stood at attention, saluted the flag in the living room and went to the door. It took a few minutes to open all of the locks, security chains and deadbolts.
As I was deactivating the last booby trap on the door, I could hear someone singing "America the Beautiful" out on the porch. I looked through the periscope and to my surprise; there stood Uncle Spud. I immediately put down my AR-15, secured the bulldogs and rushed out to meet him.
"Where have you been?" I shouted. "I haven't seen you for ages."
"I've been stranded on a tropical island with dozens of beautiful women," he said with a big grin. "Where did you think I'd be?"
"In jail most likely," I responded. "Come in and have a seat."
Spud smiled as he pulled up a chair and cracked open one of my military surplus, MRE diet Dr. Peppers. "So tell me what's happened in the months since I've been gone," he said.
"Well, let's see," I mused. "I guess you probably heard that Obama was reelected. It was a surprise to everyone and a shocking display of the power of the entitlement-oriented left. One in five Mormons voted against Mitt Romney. Catholics went for Obama by 50 percent in spite of their leaders urging them to reject the abortionist.
"That doesn't bode well for the future of our religious institutions," Spud said.
I continued. "The first item on Obama's agenda for his second term has been an attempt to disarm the American people."
"He promised in 2008 that he'd never do that," Spud said with alarm.
"He's feeling empowered now, so he's not afraid to show who he really is. After a school shooting in Connecticut, the administration tried to reinstate Bill Clinton's assault weapons ban with a truckload of additional regulations and restrictions. Fortunately, the bill was shot down in the Senate (pun intended). Even Harry Reid didn't vote for it. Dirty Harry knows which way the 2nd Amendment wind blows in Nevada, and across the rest of the country."
"What makes the push to outlaw guns a joke," I said, "is a scandal called "Fast and Furious." Like a script written by Alfred Hitchcock, Eric Holder's justice department gave almost 2000 unregistered assault rifles to the Mexican drug cartels. Why, it is still the subject of congressional hearings. Those weapons have been used in hundreds of murders including the killing of an American Border Patrol agent. Then, as if to add a little comedy to this disgraceful situation, Obama said in a speech in Mexico last week that the cause of Mexican gun violence is American weapons finding their way across the border."
"Incredibly bold hypocrisy," Spud noted.
"Then of course, we have Obamacare. This massive government takeover of our health care system became law last year. Nancy Pelosi said we'd have to pass the bill to learn what's in it. Sure enough, we're just beginning to learn the true cost, the political entanglements and the nightmarish consequences.
"For example, just last week the government approved Plan B., an abortion pill to be sold to 15-year old 'women' without parental consent. Isn't it funny how, according to the Feds, girls are 'women' at 15, but 'boys' up to age 26 can be listed as dependents on their parents' health care plan?"
"Darn, maybe I should have stayed on that tropical island," Spud exclaimed.
"It's not all bad news," I assured him. "Global warming has been proven a hoax. Al Gore is in hiding with the 200 million dollars he made from the scam."
"Didn't he almost get to be president?" asked Spud.
"Think about it," I said. "What does all of this say about the American people and those we select to be our leaders?"
"Alexis Tocqueville said it best," Spud said sadly: 'In a democracy, people get the government they deserve.' Sounds like divine justice to me."
The Sun Advocate welcomes Tom McCourt back to writing a column for the papers opinion page. His piece will run the second and fourth Tuesdays of the month. McCourt is the author of six books, including To Be A Soldier and The Split Sky.