A few weeks ago I came across a Web site listing quotes from famous people. While most were interesting, some amusing, and others inspiring, I cracked up when I read the list for Yogi Berra, the famous baseball player and manager. Yogi is my kind of guy. Born in 1925, he's 85 years old and still going strong. He began his career as a catcher for the Yankees in 1946 and retired as a team manger in 1989. He was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1972. He got the nickname "Yogi" because he would sit cross-legged in a Hindu meditation position to relax before his turn to bat.
Yogi, whose real name is Lawrence Peter Berra, has shown the ability to twist and confound the English language even better than George Bush and Joe Biden, and that's quite an accomplishment. I thought some of you might enjoy a few of his prodigious pronouncements.
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.
I knew the record would stand until it was broken.
Even Napoleon had his Watergate.
Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious.
I just want to thank everybody who made this day necessary.
I never said most of the things I said.
I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.
I wish I had an answer to that because I'm tired of answering that question.
I'm not gonna buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let 'em walk to school like I did.
If people don't want to come out to the ballpark, nobody's gonna stop 'em.
I can't think and bat at the same time.
If the world was perfect it wouldn't be.
If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer.
When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
If you don't know where you're going, you might end up someplace else.
In theory there's no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
It ain't over till it's over.
It ain't the heat. It's the humility that gets to ya.
It gets late early out here.
It's like deja-vu all over again.
It was impossible to get a conversation going. Everybody was talking too much.
Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.
So I'm ugly, so what? I never saw anybody hit a baseball with his face.
The future ain't what it used to be.
The only color I don't have is navy brown.
The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.
The towels were so thick I could hardly close my suitcase.
There are some people who, if they don't already know, you can't tell them.
We have deep depth.