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Castle Country landmarks elicit fictional, whimsical labels

The Mussentuchit sand dunes are one of many puzzling and uniquely named geographical landmarks in Emery County.

By JASON BAILEY
and JAMES BAILEY
Sun Advocate writers

Society loves to name things after prominent landmarks or places of interest, especially naturally occurring ones. Such names are often bestowed upon public schools, parks, hospitals, and even businesses.

Some of the most prominent geographical landmarks in Carbon County include Castle Gate, Pinnacle Peak, Balanced Rock and Bruin Point. Each have seen something built by residents named in their honor.

But by and large, that trend doesn't extend into Carbon's long-time neighbor to the south, at least not to the same degree. Few services, structures or institutions in Emery County share their name with a distinguished geographical landmark.

This begs the question as to what would happen if Emery County had looked to it's diverse landscape and it's many natural and historic landmarks for inspiration? What types of labels would the citizens come up with?

There's no way to say for certain, but a wild and curious imagination gives heed to some whimsical, albeit unlikely answers.

Perhaps tourists would stop and visit the Mussentuchit Museum, where the most important rule is to "see with your eyes, not your hands."

After stopping at the museum, perhaps tourists would rather stay the night than quickly departing.

Would they seek vacancy at the quiet, little Wedge Inn or the slightly suggestive Hidden Splendor Hotel? Maybe they'd prefer to try their odds at the Lucky Strike Lodge instead. Who knows.

Would passers-by stop at the illustrious Goblin Gas & Go? Or would they prefer to fuel up somewhere that isn't so eerie and mysterious? It's anyone's guess.

And where would people go for money? Would the narrow minded trust their money to the irreparably hindered Bottleneck Bank? Would the financially reckless find any forgiveness from Last Chance Loan? Could desperate home buyers avoid the obscure financing deals at Muddy Mortgage? One can only imagine.

Parents might feel a bit uncomfortable sending their kids to Moonshine Elementary, where lectures about prohibition might be considered a bit ironic.

Let's hope that none of the students get the wrong idea and end up spending time as adults at the infamous Black Box Penitentiary.

People might wonder if the Swinging Bridge Construction Company's work is just a bit fickle. Motorists might think twice about crossing onto the other side of the creek.

There would be weddings, no doubt. One might speculate if wives-to-be would buy their dresses from Fuller Bottom Bridal. Might grooms get their hair cut at the Spotted Wolf Barber Shop? If they did, they might wish they hadn't afterwards.

And would the guilty-minded find any solace from the ill-named Sinbad Psychiatry? Would showing up for an appointment be an admittance of transgression?

There's really no way to know for certain what one might find. But as the imagination begins to wander, it's clear that Emery County has some uniquely labeled landmarks that are enshrouded in a wild and intriguing past.




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