This is the final time you will read this column about this unless you call me immediately. I really mean it. The final time.
That is until two weeks from now when I will write about something else.
When did "final" stop really meaning final? I get recorded calls on my home phone once a week from my credit card company that tell me this is my final chance to lower my credit card rate. They used to be nice and encouraging, now the voice is rather snide like I am too stupid to know just what a great deal they are trying to give me.
If it were a real person on the phone I would have been pretty rude back after about the third time. When the phone rang, I was busy outside planting a shrub. I ran inside trying to beat the answering machine and grabbed the phone with my muddy hands.
The voice on the other end abruptly said, "We had tried to contact you several time now and this is your final chance to......"
As I screeched, "I don't give a darn!" or something to that effect into the now hung up, muddy phone receiver.
I get the messages them on my e-mails too. Mostly final chances to pay off my debt or to buy something I don't need at some super price. The fact is, I will have my junk mail box filled with the same offers for most of a month or more before they are replaced by some other "last chance" deal.
At least I have a spam filter that takes care of most of them.
TV is not safe from this either. I don't know how many limited time offers you see go on for months at a time. Some of the offers do only stay on for a short time, but can pop back up at a moments notice.
I guess "final" and "last chance" in advertising is used much the same way we tend to use it in parenting.
You know what I mean.
We have all seen the parent that says to the misbehaving child, "Stop that now. This is your last chance."
The kid just looks at them and continues to do whatever they were doing.
Of course a few minutes later they are again saying, "I really mean it! This is your last chance! You better stop it now."
Usually the child knows that they probably have at least four or five more times of this before the parent really goes ballistic.
Now none of us have ever parented that way, have we? I just know people who do.
I'll bet that the people who do their advertising that way had those parents.
There goes my phone again. I'm sure this is the last time they will call me with their "final" offer.