I just got back from vacation Saturday and checked my e-mails. I am so popular. I had almost 1,000 waiting for me.
My computer sorts them into either my in-box, junk mail or delete. The problem is that sometimes the good ones slip into the wrong box so I have to at least glance at them all before I really delete them.
First thing I found in my in-box was a request from my boss to get this written early because he was leaving town. Right away I went into a mind blanking panic because I hadn't shifted from vacation mode yet and had nothing in mind to write.
So I continued to scan my e-mails. Upon looking at them I found I shouldn't worry about writing the column because HR has found me a new job. Actually I won't need the job because I will be making 24K in 24 days working right here out of my home. The Sun Advocate can't match that now can they.
But I won't even need that because my e-mail address was the winner in the British Microsoft Corp drawing. I just need to send them my information so they can pay me one million British pounds.
But first I need to help out Mr. Amir Zamiraski from the United African Emissary. He is representing a widow whose husband was killed in a plane crash and now is unable to get her funds out of Hong Kong where her husband had them invested. I will get 25 percent of the multi-millions if I set up an account to help them.
I can even verify the legitimacy of the plane crash by clicking on the link they provided me. The widow is desperate and they thank me in advance.
Of course if I didn't have any debt I wouldn't have to risk any of these things. There is my solution right in front of me; a link to a site that can eliminate all I owe. What a relief, but I should probably check my credit score first. Just what one of the eight sites should I choose?
One easy e-mail to delete on site is the persistent one from the woman who knows why I am fat. The nerve! I know why I am fat. I eat too much and don't exercise enough. Do I need her to tell me why?
So instead I just need to figure out which magic pill will solve this. Hoodia, Acai, or the ones with the chemical sounding names like xenithin three.
Why should I trust this if it has taken three versions to get it right?
Wow that has wasted about 15 minutes of my valuable time. That was just the stuff in my in-box. Now I have only my junk mail and deleted box to sort through.
Welcome back to the real world. Or at least welcome back to the bizzaro world of cyberspace and the power of the delete button.