Look out. Here they come.
Thursday is the last day of school for this year. On that day we turn a whole new crop of high school graduates loose on society. Are we ready for that? Are the graduates ready? Is the whole world ready?
Having graduated from high school once, I can surely sympathize with the angst and uncertainty that most of the new graduates are feeling. Now the pressure is on. It's time to be an adult and do something with your life. And there are lots of possibilities. Beyond the high school parking lot, every road is a potential career path to your future. Choose wisely.
And having graduated from high school once, I know that most of the new graduates are not well prepared for the realities of life outside the classroom. They still have a lot to learn. The real world is different from the world of books, homework and senior proms. Some of life's most important lessons come after graduation.
Having learned most of those lessons the hard way, Uncle Spud and I have decided to help out by sharing some of the things we have learned since leaving the hallowed halls of Carbon, back during the last ice age.
Pay attention, there will be a test on this material.
Life is not fair. Get used to it.
In the real world, nobody cares about your self-esteem. You will be expected to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.
Your school might have taught you not to be judgmental. But in the real world, people will judge you every day of your life.
How far you go in life will be determined a great deal by the way you present yourself. Your school might have done away with a dress code, but there is one in real life. Personal hygiene and the way you dress can make all the difference in your future.
Spiked hair, gothic makeup, nose and lip rings are bad ideas if you expect to get a job that's worth having. Those things might be okay someday in the future, but a different generation is doing most of the hiring today.
In the real world, nobody cares if you don't come to class. You can sleep late and fail at life if you really want to. Just be ready to accept the consequences.
Real life isn't divided into semesters. Don't expect a two-week vacation and a change in your work environment every few months.
Your school might have done away with winners and losers, but life hasn't. Some people win and some people lose. That's just how it is.
Life is like a card game. You've got to play the hand you've been dealt. Some people draw aces. Others draw handicaps and special burdens to carry.
You will be happier if you carry the burdens life deals you instead of dragging them in the mud. In life, pain and suffering are part of the plan. Misery is optional.
God didn't make all men equal. Some are born rich and good-looking. You've still got to compete with them, like it or not.
Sorry, but you won't make $100,000 a year right out of high school. Making top pay is like earning an "A". You've got to work for it.
In the real world, expect to start at the bottom and work your way up. You might think you're management material, but you can't be a chief without first being an Indian.
It really is true. What goes around comes around. Gossip and mischief are homing pigeons that always find their way back.
Abstinence is always better, and cheaper, than rehab.
There really is no free lunch. You always pay, in one way or another, for the things you think you get for free in life.
In the real world, you will soon learn why your parents are so old, tired, and hopelessly boring. They got that way by cleaning up your messes and taking care of your needs. Give mom and dad a big hug on graduation day. They deserve it.