The last blast of the holidays
On Saturday Jan. 26, 2013, the first ever Fruitcake Extravaganza is going to take place in Sutherlands parking lot at 406 South Highway 55.
This is a chance to take that old fruitcake that you got for the holidays and do something productive with it (that is if you haven't already eaten it ;).
Fruitcakes come to people in all sorts of ways: handed to them as gift, sent through the mail or even dropped on steps anonymously.
Unfortunately, many people's fruitcakes are not what one would call delicious. And the ones that can be bought in the cans or wrapped in plastic from the store usually just don't make it far before they end up in the hog trough or garbage can.
So each person reading this probably has some version of a fruitcake still in their house. Many don't dare throw it away (because it is food, in a fashion) or they fear that the person that gave it to them might see it poking out of the top of their garbage can before the trash day truck can arrive.
Because fruitcakes so often end up not where they were intended by the giver, it seems that people also like to ask about the fruitcakes they gave away.
"Did you like that fruitcake I gave you for Christmas?" they ask. Then they continue. "I put in all this good stuff. It has every kind of nut in the world in it, special fruit from the tropics, cheese from Sheyboygan, Wis., old tires from the Utah County Landfill, rocks from Death Valley,. etc. etc. etc."
What to do. You may not be able to eat it (literally because it is so hard or figuratively because it tastes bad), but there must be something that can be done with it that could be productive.
Well we at the Sun Advocate have come up with something you can use that old fruitcake for. On Jan. 26, we will be having a fruitcake extravaganza.
The idea came from the little known fact that Jan. 3 is (or now was) national Fruitcake Toss Day. We just couldn't get organized that quickly after the end of the year and besides we wanted to honor the fruitcake in all its glory on a Saturday so a lot of people could come and pay homage to that lowly loaf of yuk.
So on Jan. 26, in Sutherlands parking lot in Price the store and our paper are having a contest that will consist of three events.
The first is a hand fruitcake toss. We will be awarding a Miter Saw worth $299 to the person who can throw the fruitcake they bring with them the farthest. Here are the rules for that event.
1. The fruitcake must be uncut and unwrapped from any kind of cellophane, plastic or cardboard.
2. The person throwing the fruitcake must not use any kind of device to throw such as a paddle or a Lacrosse stick.
3. All fruitcakes must be thrown underhand; no overhand throwing.
4.Once the fruitcake has been thrown the thrower will stand next to the throwing course to mark their spot. Only one throw per person.
Next will be a fruitcake relay race. We will time the event as teams of four people run a 100 yard course each with a fruitcake on a bread board (both of which the Sun Advocate will supply for consistency) through a survival course without dropping the fruitcake on the ground. There will be no touching it with your fingers or any other body part either. Each of member of the winning four person team will be awarded an oscillating tool worth $99. Here are the rules.
1. Once the whistle to start is blown, no member of the team may touch the fruitcake in any way with their hands or other body parts. Relays must be done by sliding the fruitcake onto the next runners breadboard.
2. The course will involve running around pylons and stepping over various obstacles while keeping the fruit cake on the bread board.
3. Runners must stay on the course or they will be disqualified. Missing any one of the obstacles also means disqualification.
4.The event will be timed. The team with the best time will be judged to be the prize winners.
5.The Sun Advocate will supply the fruitcake and breadboards for this event. You cannot use your own equipment or fancy fruitcake.
Third, bring your own fruitcake art. Whatever creation you can come up with a fruitcake (or fruitcakes) as the center of an art piece. our contest team will judge. Prizes will be given for the top three pieces of art as is determined by the judges. First place will get a $50 gift card to Sutherlands, second place will get a $25 gift card and third place will get a $15 gift card.
And for those of you who just want to watch the goings on, you can also bring fruitcakes and use them to get $10 off a yearly, in-county subscription on the spot. This applies to both new subscriptions and renewals.
The extravaganza will take place between Noon and 3 p.m. If the weather is bad (we mean snow and wind, not just the cold) we will delay it until the next week on Feb. 2.
There will be no preregistration, but you must register for the events beginning at Noon that day and 15 minutes before your event takes place.There is no cost to register with the exception of having your own fruitcake to throw during the event.
Here is the timetable for the events.
12:30 p.m. Fruitcake Art display begins.
1 p.m. The Fruitcake Relay Race.
2 p.m. The Fruitcake Throw.
So heres the chance for you to get rid of those holiday fruitcakes and if you win you can tell the person that gave it to you that it was so good you were able to trade it for a top notch prize.
If you lose, well we will be discreet about how it is disposed of.