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Front Page » July 31, 2007 » Opinion » The Wasatch Behind: the big questions of today
Published 2,993 days ago

The Wasatch Behind: the big questions of today

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Sun Advocate Columnist

Sometimes we get so involved with the small issues of the day, ordinary things like making a living, paying the mortgage, and raising the kids, that we forget about the big questions of life.

Below is a list of things to consider.

•Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

•What disease did cured ham actually have?

•If a deaf person goes to court, is it still called a hearing?

•Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?

•Why don't we call moustaches "mouthbrows?"

•How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

•If you put your "two cents in," but only get "a penny for your thoughts," where did that other penny go?

•Can you cry underwater?

•If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

•Why are they called hemorrhoids instead of asteroids?

•Did Adam have a bellybutton?

•If someone steals your identity, do you become someone else?

•Where on a chicken do chicken nuggets come from?

•Did you know that three out of four people make up 75 percent of the world's population?

•Is it okay for a gravedigger to call himself a cryptologist?

•If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

•Why must you show a drivers license to buy liquor when it's against the law to drink and drive?

•If you throw a cat from a car window, does he become kitty litter?

•If an oriental guy looses his way in the forest, is he disoriented?

•Is an oxymoron a real dumb steer?

•Are some dumb blondes, peroxymorons?

•Are crop circles made by extraterrestrials, or cereal killers?

•In the NFL, why isn't a halfback paid twice as much as a quarterback?

•When a spaceship reaches the speed of light, do the lights go out?

•When a pig loses his voice, does he become disgruntled?

•If a stealth bomber is invisible and costs a billion dollars, why not tell people we have hundreds of them and not make any?

•If a tree falls in the forest and no person is there to hear it. Do the other trees laugh and make fun of it?

•If electricity comes from electrons, why doesn't morality come from morons?

•Do food stamps stick to the roof of your mouth?

•If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?

•Does it make you nervous that your doctor "practices" medicine?

•Did your airline pilot take a crash course to get through flight school?

•If FedEx and UPS merged, would the new company be called FED-UP?

•With all of the modern technology, why is the Salt Lake weatherman still only 80 percent correct about ten-percent of the time?

•If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

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July 31, 2007
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