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Front Page » December 12, 2006 » Opinion » Rantings and Ravings
Published 3,218 days ago

Rantings and Ravings

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Sun Advocate reporter

Oh the joys of preparing for the holidays.

I took advantage of the warmer weather to put up our outside lights. Usually I let my husband do it, but since the weather was supposed to turn bad again, I decided to take it on.

I had heard that the new blow-up yard decorations were the best new thing to come out for Christmas decorations since the icicle lights. Well I hope they are easier to deal with than my icicle lights are.

My husband took time last year to carefully wind them up on a board to make them easy to put up. However, since these things are not a straight strand, but intersections of assorted strands they still tangled up like a five year old's shoe lace.

I found that if I didn't get the gutter clip securely pushed into place, it could pop off and fly higher than the space shuttle. Leaning sideways on a ladder can result in sudden and violent crashing to the earth, just like it warns on the label on the side of the device. Juniper shrubs can nicely break a fall.

Apparently there are well over 10 different miniature bulb designs on the market at any given time. Two boxes of identical light strands do not necessarily have interchangeable bulbs. I do not have a single strand that matches another so when one light goes missing, I will have to replace the whole strand.

It is really frustrating when all the bulbs are there and appear to be intact and the strand does not light. It mostly happens when you have a strand that you have painstakingly wound around and through something in an attempt to be creative. Taking them back off will not be simple so you get sucked into wiggling each and every bulb trying in vain to figure out which is the loose one.

I tried to put up the garage lights by hanging off the edge of the roof, but since I'm scared of heights I couldn't get any closer that two feet from the edge of my roof, so instead I had to climb up the extension ladder. After falling off the step ladder I decided not to reach and had to move the ladder every foot to make sure I didn't turf it in front of the paper boy, who as he delivered my paper, looked like he was ready to dial 911 to report a pending disaster.

The last thing I want to know is why my icicle lights don't hang down nice and neat like all my neighbors do? My strands point out and up and sideways. I have only spotted one other person in Price that has goofy ones like mine.

Well the lights are up and most of them work. I am contemplating putting up some yellow police tape to keep people away from them. One wrong touch and they can all quit working.

Only 12 more days to worry about such nonsense.

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December 12, 2006
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